Isumi is different, somehow.

Of course, Waya had thought that Isumi would improve his Go while he studied in China - that was never a question. He'd expected Isumi to come home with new strategies, maybe a slightly altered playing style. But really, Waya had never expected Isumi himself to change.

Isumi is...softer, maybe. His edges of desperation have been blunted, smoothed into a quiet sort of mystery. Since he passed the pro exam, he's settled into a calm, quiet confidence, one that Waya is fascinated by, even as he is at pains to reach beyond it, to reclaim something of what they had before.

But Waya is starting to realize that what they had before China maybe wasn't so good. Maybe before China, his friendship with Isumi was tainted with an unhealthy dose of pity. But Isumi is above pity now - he's come back from China, and he's better than that. Isumi doesn't have Touya Akira's terrifying, prodigious skill, or Shindou Hikaru's innovative brilliance, but he's undeniably solid, with a spare honesty to his moves that seems to cut through all extraneous blustering.

Waya is the one who's unsure now - what does he have to offer this new Isumi Shinichirou? Waya has this feeling now, this insistent, slow burn that he thinks is called shame. Shame that he wasn't much of a friend before Isumi went to China, and shame that all he can feel is inadequacy, a sense of being left behind, now that Isumi is back. Waya used to know who he was - he was quick, he was smart, he was good at Go. He passed his pro exam on the fourth try. But he feels oddly adrift, now that the Isumi he used to define himself against is gone.

Maybe Waya is the one who is desperate now. He's greedy for those pieces of assurance that Isumi still wants to be around him - Isumi called Waya right after he passed his pro exam, not Shindou. Isumi thought of Waya while he was in China, saw Waya in a young pro he played there. Isumi comes over to Waya's apartment to play Go, and they go out together for food a lot. If Waya closes his eyes, he can remember that moment of homecoming, when Isumi got off the subway and ruffled his hand through Waya's hair. Waya had said, "You haven't changed at all!" but he was wrong, wrong, wrong.

Because Isumi has changed, and Waya's desperate to know if he's still important to Isumi.

Improbably, Waya is seated across a goban from Touya Akira in his apartment. Shindou and Isumi have elected themselves to go get take-out from a nearby restaurant, since Waya and Touya were in the middle of a game.

Waya still doesn't precisely like Touya. He considers Touya to be standoffish, antisocial, and far too talented for his own good. But Shindou's made it pretty clear that he won't tolerate anybody badmouthing Touya, and that's something Waya can understand - he's spent years tearing into anyone who dared to make unkind remarks about Isumi. He's not really sure he gets all the nuances of Shindou and Touya's relationship, but it's clear that they're frighteningly obsessed with each other, and supremely secure in their position in each other's lives - there's no one for Shindou but Touya, and no one for Touya but Shindou.

Waya thinks that maybe he envies them, although he personally could do without all the yelling and stomping.

"You're distracted," Touya says quietly.

Waya looks up from the goban, startled. It's the first time Touya has spoken to him during a game on something not Go-related. "I guess," he says. He can't help but dart a glance at the goban that Isumi and Shindou have vacated.

Touya follows his glance briefly before turning his eyes back to Waya. And Waya thinks suddenly that he's given himself away - because for all that Touya doesn't always play well with others, he's still remarkably sensitive to other people's thoughts and feelings.

"He's changed," Touya observes, sounding like he's satisfied by the development.

All Waya can feel is misery. "Yeah," he responds, not even bothering to protest that it's not Isumi he's thinking about, and makes a move even he knows is dumb.

Touya has shifted his intense concentration from the goban to Waya, and Waya's not sure he's altogether comfortable with that. Touya is studying him frankly, and asks, "Aren't you happy that he's come back and has done so well?"

"Of course I'm happy!" Waya protests immediately. "Isumi deserved it more than anyone." He narrows his eyes at Touya, just daring him to deny it.

"I missed Shindou when he was gone," Touya offers abruptly, which shocks Waya - Touya Akira, offering personal information? "Do you miss Isumi-san?"

Waya finds himself nodding before he realizes what he's doing, before he realized that Touya had asked if Waya missed Isumi right now. It didn't make it any less true, but Waya does feel mortified that Touya knows. Because, how stupid is it to miss someone who's spent the whole evening right beside you?

"We're not like you and Shindou," Waya says, beginning to clear away their forgotten game.

"You're not rivals, it's true," Touya acknowledges. "But that doesn't mean there aren't some similarities."

Waya wants to ask what those are, but Shindou and Isumi choose that moment to come clattering in the door, take-out bags in their hands.

"They had your favorite, Waya," Isumi says, pulling out a sushi box and smiling.

"And they had boring, boring unagi for you, Touya," Shindou declares, plopping down onto the tatami.

Touya leans closer and glares. "I like unagi."

Waya can't imagine what Touya could possibly think they have in common. Isumi silently passes him a container of sushi, chopsticks, and extra wasabi, and Waya gives Isumi all his ginger, and they eat together in quiet companionship while watching Touya and Shindou alternate between bickering and eating their food.

Shindou and Touya have taken their leave, and Isumi is helping Waya clean up the remains of dinner. It's all disposable anyway, so it's the work of seconds. "I should wash the stones tonight - I think Shindou got wasabi on some of them during the last game," Waya says.

Isumi laughs softly and brings the goke to the kitchen. Waya fills the sink with warm, soapy water, and he rolls up his sleeves and starts to carefully wash the stones, handing them to Isumi to dry.

"What did you do while I was gone?" Isumi asks.

Waya looks up. Isumi is a whole head taller than he is, so he has to crane his neck a little. "Matches. A little shidougo. A lot of net Go," he says, before turning his attention back to the stones he's washing. It's true that he did all of that, but it's not what he really wants to say - that he missed Isumi, that he still misses Isumi.

"It's funny," Isumi says. "I was around people all the time when I was in China, but I was still a little lonely."

"Me too," Ways says quietly, answering Isumi's unspoken question. He feels his ears burn a little with that admission.

"I - I see," Isumi says, sounding a little pleased.

There's only the soft clink of go stones being washed and dried for a few moments, before Isumi says, "Waya."

"Hmm?"

"If I had to say one thing I learned in China, it would be finding confidence in myself," Isumi says.

Waya nods - Isumi has told him this before.

"I want to hold on to that," Isumi says. "I don't want to give up before I've started."

Waya looks up at him, startled. "Isumi-san, you've already begun - I won't let you give up."

Isumi seems closer, somehow. "I'm glad you feel that way, too," he murmurs, before taking Waya's face in his hands and bending down to kiss him.

Waya is sort of flabbergasted, still up to his elbows in soapy water while Isumi presses tender, serious kisses against his lips. Isumi pulls back after a moment to look at him, but Waya feels so dazed that he's not sure he's capable of speech. Isumi must have found what he was looking for, though, because he leans back in and captures Waya's lips again, his tongue sliding into Waya's mouth like it's always belonged there.

At some point, Waya has ended up with his back against the kitchen counter, his wet hands knotted up in Isumi's pullover. Isumi has one thigh between Waya's legs, and they're both breathing hard through their noses rather than stop kissing to catch their breath. Isumi...Isumi is good, and sometimes Waya forgets that Isumi is three years older than he is, and has had a few more girlfriends.

They break for air, and Isumi pants in Waya's ear, "I missed you. I wanted to..."

Waya knows what Isumi wanted, because he did, too. Isumi's not the only one who has changed - Waya wanted this, wanted to be this close to Isumi before he could even identify the desire to himself.

Isumi takes a deep breath and shifts his weight in preparation to step back. "Maybe...maybe we should talk. Maybe I should give you some time to think?"

Waya bring his arms up around Isumi's neck, locking him in place. "Don't leave me again," Waya says seriously.

Isumi's smile is intimate and intense, and he allows Waya to drag him down for another in a long series of kisses.

Waya wakes up slowly the next morning, warm and cuddled up next to Isumi, who is still sleeping peacefully. It would appear that moving into his own apartment has other uses besides just getting away from his family - the privacy to get very naked and sweaty with his best friend, for starters.

He traces Isumi's collarbone with one finger, and Isumi sighs a little and begins to wake up.

"Morning," Isumi says, his voice roughened from sleep. Waya knows perfectly well that Isumi is nowhere near ready to face the world - Isumi wakes up even slower than he does, which is saying something.

"Morning," Waya says, voice hushed. He doesn't want to break the quiet of what is undoubtedly the best morning in a long time. "Should I go to the corner for pastries and caffeine?"

Isumi tightens one arm around Waya's chest. "Stay here," he mumbles.

Waya is awake, though, and his brain is turning over something from last night. "I've been thinking...what do you think we have in common with Shindou and Touya?"

Isumi nuzzles the underside of Waya's jaw, and then, very deliberately, sucks a hickey to life on Waya's neck.

"Isumi-san!" Waya protests. It's not as though he wants to discourage Isumi from doing that, or that he's unwilling to entertain a repeat performance of last night, but it's going to drive him nuts if he can't figure this out. "You didn't answer my question."

"Did," Isumi says. He licks at the hickey he just made on Waya's neck. "Touya has one of these. It's a little lower - his collar almost hides it."

It does not compute for several long moments, and then Waya says faintly, "Oh my god." And then, "Wait, are you sure? How do you know he got it from Shindou?"

He can feel Isumi's little laugh more than he can actually hear it. "Well, who else does he spend all his waking hours with? Are you telling me you think Touya could have a girl on the side? I think Shindou-kun is a full-time job."

"That's for sure," Waya mutters. And then it sinks in a little more, and he says, "Touya knows. About us. I mean, last night, he knew I wanted to..." he trails off, and he can't help but stare at Isumi, who is still rumpled from sleep and so heartbreakingly handsome.

Isumi cuts to the chase and kisses him, honest and straightforward as his Go. And Waya decides that the day and everything else can wait, because Isumi is home from China, and Waya wants to make sure he's welcomed properly.